Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Purina Diet

You have to have a sense of humor about all this, or the stress will kill you (and your changing eating habits), so with that in mind, I offer this to all (all credit to Author Unknown):

"Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for
Butters, the wonder dog, at Wal-Mart and was waiting to check-out.

'A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I elephant?

'So since I'm retired with little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, but was starting the Purina Diet again.

'I told her I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time, but had lost 50 pounds before I'd awakened in the intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and every time you feel hungry, you simply eat one or two. The food is nutritionally complete and I was going to try it again. I have to mention that practically everyone in the line was enthralled by now.

'Horrified, the woman asked me if I'd ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I'd stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit both of us.

'I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard.

'Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore."