It's AMAZING what you can live through.
People are starting to call me a 'survivor' and I don't think I deserve that, have earned it, or want that title. I may not survive.
This blog went thru a hiatus from fall 2009 to fall 2011 to now, or later. I'm a groundhog starting to wake up, to come to. Sometimes I don't think I'm going to poke my head out. Ever feel that way?
My method for dealing with stress usually involves doing the opposite of whatever I was doing before. If I was dieting, I pig out. If I was pigging out, I lose my appetite. Call me stubborn or a rebel, but if you try to tell me what to do, I'm likely to do the opposite nowadays. Just because I can. And because it would thwart your plans to control my life. I've had enough of that, and I'm taking it back. That's all I'll say about what happened.
On to more important things.
If you were following my blog, you know I was dieting, starting to lose my metabolic rate, not getting in enough zumba classes, living near no bike trails, having a couch-potato man in my life (no support personnel, in other words), and then some computer issues. Computers were the least of my problems it turned out, but where that has left me is back to needing to straighten out my life and get healthy - again. And so, who do I turn to? ME!
LOL - it's true. I have done this before, and I know that I know how to do it again. So, I have started re-reading some of my earlier posts. This one even says that I did it, and did it again: http://luvs2zumba.blogspot.com/2008_01_01_archive.html
The only thing it doesn't tell me is how to prevent this again. I'm thinking "no men in my life" which should reduce the emotional turmoil. But we don't live that way, any of us, without having significant others in our lives. Perhaps the lesson is to be a lot more pickier in finding someone(s) who fit my lifestyle, or my preferred lifestyle, better.
So, my new year's motto (same one every year) "To Thine Own Self Be True" has a little extra oomph behind it this year.
I'll also be changing the format for the blog as I rediscover my voice. For most, it will simply be more entertaining (I hope) and less yak-yak-yak about weight loss, recipes, and healthy living. Those will still be here, but more as background or a subplot - or maybe a theme. Who knows? They are part and parcel of who I am when I'm not trying to kill myself slowly, and now I'm working on trying to use my pen as a needle and paper as a voodoo doll; and to mix metaphors a bit, I'm going to exorcise the devil out of my life. Hang on, it's going to be a heck of a ride.